The Journey - Log Entry #1

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The Intro Section

Hello! It has been a while since I've popped into your inbox, so allow me to re-introduce myself.

Hi! I'm Lorelei Scharf, but you probably know me as Lori. I used to run a blog called The WarriorCo, which is probably why you're on this email list. While the WarriorCo is no longer active, I would like to continue writing to you as myself. This is less of an author newsletter and more of a monthly collection of thoughts from me to you. I'm not trying to sell you anything, I just want to share my journey with you. Maybe you'll share some of yours with me as well!

However, I understand that not all of you will be interested in this new format, since it's not what you signed up for. That's all good! Feel free to use the Unsubscribe button at the bottom of this email.

If you've decided to stay, then thank you! I am so excited to figure out this new style. If you have any ideas for sections I could add or replace, let me know! I want to give you what you want!

Without further ado, the rest of the email.

The Life Section

All my life I've wanted to be 'ok'. Like, all I'm asking for is to be fine. Wouldn't you know it, that's nearly impossible as a hormonal teenager.

My mom had two stillborn sons the years I was 9 and 11. This, understandably, caused my mom a lot of mental anguish; but until recently I didn't really realize how much it affected me. I was just a kid, and death is... death is scary. I fully believe that those boys are in heaven, and maybe they even got the better deal since they didn't have to deal with life here on Earth. They got to skip to the good part. But where does that leave me? An older sister left with all this built up love in her heart, and no one to give it to?

Around this time, I started having this new, complex emotion. It wasn't sadness or anger... it was a weird middle place, where everything felt... grey. Heavy. Like nothing really mattered. Not school, not my art, not even my own life. part of me wonders if this was something like Survivor's Guilt. Maybe, somewhere in my self-conscious, this is where the idea that I couldn't be worthy of life if my brothers weren't. Maybe I cut myself off from feeling the pain, and ended up cutting off everyone else, too.

So anyways, ✨depression✨

Yep, that's right! Tiny Lori spun the wheel of mental health issues and landed on suicidal ideation at the young age of 13! With a side of anxiety and seemingly eternal self-hatred! What fun!

I had to be some kind of freak, right? Depression? In my circumstances? There are kids out there who's parents abuse them. Teens who dropped out of school to support their families. People with actual issues. Maybe if I just 'be happy' I can feel better. Let's just not tell anyone how I feel and keep it all bottled up inside. I bet that is the healthiest way we could possibly go about this! What could go wrong?

Yes... What could go wrong...

All this to say, I have a long history with pretending that I'm fine. Just ask my therapist! Or my mom! Or my tear-stained journal pages asking God to help me be fine again.

The thing is, God didn't make me to be an unfeeling, one-dimensional robot who's always 'ok'. Just 'fine' alllllll the time. The beauty of life is in the highs and the lows that we experience. It's in the love that we can give, and the pain we feel when that love is lost.

If all we're meant to be is 'fine', then there really is no point to life. 'No pain, no gain' as they say. The seed we plant has to die before it can truly grow. If there is no death, there is no life. If there is no darkness, there is no light.

God is the only sure thing through the highs and lows. Without His strength and love, you will struggle to make it through the darkest lows, and even to truly apricate the highest highs.

If you are going through a season of darkness, as many of us are right now, then I want you to know you're not alone. I understand, and I'm sure others reading this understand too. Lean on God, and He will give you strength.

The Writing Section

Have you ever thought, 'I want Jennifer Neilson's The False Prince, but in space'?

No?

Well too bad, I'm writing it.

Add in some Guardians of the Galaxy, Star Wars: Rebels, and bit of gender-bent Anastasia, and you've got Project Duplicate

Word Count: 2500

Death Count: So far just parents

Frist Chapter Re-Written: 3 times

I'm still in the outlining/rough drafting phase, but here's a few lines from what I've written and from my brainstorming sessions that might give you an idea of the vibe:

"My name is Archer Flynn. This is, perhaps, my greatest lie."

Space has a deep respect for the dead and the lost.

“Emery thinks I’m cool.”

“Do not. I actually think you’re pretty annoying.”

“Y’hear that, Arch? She thinks I’m pretty!”

“Live to fight another day.”

"My son? No... You are just a shell of him... A copy! Like I was. But I became more, unlike you."

"He was only a kid!"

"So was I."

There’s never a defining moment when your friend becomes your family. No particular act or word spoken. It’s just natural.

I am very excited for this project. Hopefully I'll have even more to share next month!

Oh, and speaking of next month:

If you want some motivation to get words down, join me and many of my writer friends for Crazy Writing Week! It's a week-long challenge where you try to write as many words as possible, while earning points for your team and unlocking great prizes!

Last year, we collectively wrote 13.5 MILLION words!!! Will you help us break our record?

See More about CWW

The Book Section

I was in a huge reading slump all year, but here's my Year in Books!

(I can be a bit liberal with my 5 stars XP but I still agree with most of these ratings)

I read the first Red Rising trilogy twice, once in the spring and once in the summer. Still waiting for my library to get book 5...

I think the majority of my reads were 2nd or even 3rd times over. Hopefully this year I'll get back into reading new things!

The Movie Section

PG-13 (Personal rating: 16+)

Directed by Matt Reeves

Written by Matt Reeves, Peter Craig

Starring Robert Pattinson, Zoe Kravitz, Jeffery Wright

Cinematography by Greig Fraser

Content: 1 f-bomb, a lot of more minor curses, medium-high levels of PG-13 level violence/sexual content. Several scenes take place in a night club. There are several murders, bombs, and kidnappings. Please check your go-to review site for content warnings I may have missed.

Let me preface this by saying, I get pretty nerdy when it comes to Batman/comic book movies/movies in general. I get that this genre isn't for everyone, so feel free to skip this section!

I tried to avoid big spoilers, but continue at your own risk :)

Man, this one blew me away.

I got into Batman through comics and TV shows. I hadn't seen any of his live-action movies, so I decided to start with the 2022 version, since I'd heard the best things about this interpretation overall.

And wow, every good thing they said is true.

Reeves used a younger, more in-experienced version of Batman. This version just got back from his years away training to become The Batman. His trauma is still raw, his worldview is very black and white, and he doesn't try to empathize with the underworld of Gotham like some around him do. His mindset doesn't allow for nuanced motivations.

The Batman gets two foils in this story. The first is Selina Kyle, a small-time crook who Bruce immediately feels a connection with, even though he doesn't want to. In his eyes, doing bad things means she is a bad person. That is was her own choices that lead her here. The truth is, Selina was born into the same cycle many lower-class Gothamites are. The city is too corrupt to help the little people, so they must do what they can to survive.

Bruce, despite his trauma, it still a member of the privileged upper-class. He didn't grow up seeing the things Selina did or having to do the things she did. This makes Selina not just a love interest, but a key instrument in widening Bruce's worldview.

The second foil is Riddler, the villain. Riddler shows many of the traits of a psychopath, with a general lack of empathy for... anyone. As long as he succeeds in wiping out the corrupt ruling-class of Gotham. He is the dark reflection of The Batman. Riddler claims to be inspired by Batman, even wanting to work with him to take down the last of Gotham's kingpins. When Batman tells Riddler he's crazy for thinking that, Riddler breaks down.

Bruce believes there is a line between him and Riddler, but Riddler doesn't see it. The Batman operates within his own version of Lawful Good, but Riddler sees his methods as the natural evolution of The Batman's. So, while Selina opens the door for Batman to gain greater empathy, Riddler shows him what he would be without it.

Also, can I just say, it was great to see Batman actually be a detective for once. The huge pegboard and the entire floor of his workroom being covered in papers was so cool to see.

Bruce actually has a third persona in this movie, and our introduction to him is while he is playing this role. The Drifter is just another guy on a motorcycle, someone who can weave through Gotham's underworld and hear the rumblings of the people. This side of his character is so cool to me, and I immediately thought of how this would be a perfect role for Robin, if this version ever got a quippy side-kick. In fact, this is the exact role Roy Harper first holds for Oliver Queen in the CW show Arrow. (There are actually a TON of similarities between The Batman and the first couple seasons of Arrow, but that's a topic for another time.)

This is already the longest section in the email, but I have to take a moment to appreciate the cinematography of this film. It was done by Greig Fraser, the same guy who did both Dune movies, Rouge One, and a couple episodes on the first season of The Mandalorian.

There are so many awesome shots in this movie, but the small details are even cooler. He uses the dirty lense technique to shoot through bookshelves or from behind glass. It makes you feel like an object in the room, watching as Batman combs through evidence. Very cool.

There's this one scene where a car has flipped upside-down, so we see a perspective shot from the crook inside watching as The Batman stalks towards him, upside down, as fire and smoke billow in the background. This moment is on most of the posters, switched back to being right-side-up.

If you couldn't tell, I have many thoughts on the movie. I didn't even mention the peak soundtrack of the incredibly surprising performance from Robert Pattinson as our main character! It's a 10/10 for me, despite a few flaws. I hope James Gunn's new DCU Batman can live up to this example.